| "... I don't think God wants to be worshipped. I think the only pure worship of God is by loving one another, and I think all other forms of worship become a substitute for the love that we should show one another."
- Charles M. Schulz |
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| How do you be yourself in a relationship?
I can only be myself around girls that I don't like. And when I'm with girls that I DO like, I'm too busy trying to please them to be myself. It's a lose - loser situation.
I guess the solution is to date an ugly girl.
...OR...
To hypnotize myself and convince myself that Jessica Alba is the boogery, dirty-haired girl from 3rd grade. |
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| I had a re-revelation the other day.
This bit of genius came to me a while ago, but flitted out of my head before I could make sense of it. A few days ago, it came back again. But this time, I understood the implications fully.
Let me blow yo mind:
What’s the first thing you touch after you flush the toilet?
The faucet.
And what’s the first thing you touch after you wash your hands?
The faucet.
. . .
Get it yet?
For those simple of mind, or too drunk/high to think straight, I’ll spell it out. After you’ve laid siege to the throne, your hands are dirty and you spread that grime onto the faucet when you turn it on. Then you soap and rinse, killing 99% of the germs on your hands.
BUTT...
Immediately afterwards, you soil your clean hands again by touching the poo/pee-infested faucet to turn it off, and proceed to wipe that mess on your towel.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
So... unless you have automatic faucets installed at home, your hands, your faucet, and your towels are all dirrr-taaay. Regardless of how often you wash your hands.
Think about THAT next time you get KFC. Mmmm. Finger-lickin’ good. |
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